So there I was, going through my list, planning what blogs I wanted to do for 2026. I was craving a movie review. I had so many options to choose from. Oh, I could bring back my Films Didn't Click Series. I could have rewatched Casablanca or some other classic gem I haven't seen in a while. What movie deserves my attention in this little time I have on this Earth?
Well apparently, it's another Disney live action remake, so I guess we're hate watching another one.
I only have myself to blame on this one. I rewatched 101 Dalmatians over the holidays because depression do be like that sometimes. And then, I had this weird compulsion to explore this rabbit hole. Something about learning the history and cultural impact of this series became a fixation. Of course, that meant watching the other Dalmatian movies which I did: 101 Dalmatians 2 Patch's London Adventure, 101 Dalmatians (1996), 102 Dalmatians, and obviously the subject of today.
Now to recap my Disney live action journey so far, I reviewed Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid remake. In short, I labeled Beauty and the Beast as my Worst Movie of the 2010s and Little Mermaid with nothing, because there was barely nothing in the film to enjoy. Cruella is where my piercing hatred has gazed onto next, but let's establish how Cruella is kind of a different beast compared to ones I reviewed so far.
Cruella has sort of a cult following which can't be said of most of the modern live action remakes. Disney live action remakes are comparable to a wilting flower. They get bought when they're fresh, but that's all their function. Once their responsibility of making the shop owner more money is fulfilled, the flower is wilted dead never to be thought of again. Basically, lastability and standing the test of time doesn't seem to be a concern with these movies. It's honestly reflective of the Dalmatian movies as a whole. The entire franchise has a history of either cutting corners or creating art in a cynically commercial way. 101 Dalmatians is the first movie to use the Xerox method. A method that Disney implemented to save on costs during a financially turbulent time in Disney history. 101 Dalmatians (1996) goes without saying as being the precursor to these awful Disney remakes. Patch's London Adventure is just another instance of that era where Disney shat out direct-to-DVDs with wildly varying degrees of quality. And finally, 102 Dalmatians is actually the greatest movie ever made. I actually had no problems with that one. In fact, I should establish now that I'll segway to talking about 102 Dalmatians as a failsafe if Cruella becomes too numbing to talk about.
That leads us into Cruella. Which before even turning on the movie, Im wondering why. I mean, I know the why in the form of selling wilting flowers to insufferable white women but why narratively? Making a film revolved solely on someone like Cruella feels as misguided as making a biopic on Casey Anthony.
Now this isn't to say flawed or even downright evil women can't be protagonists. Any good writing can justify any protagonist. And from a feminist perspective, I can understand putting a spotlight on women villains from the perspective on shedding a light on how we treat maligned women vs. other folks. I totally get it.
What I don't quite get is if that's your angle, why Cruella? You know what, let me bring out the segments.
Seriously, Why Cruella???
Let's go back to the source. In 1956, a children's book titled 101 Dalmatians was published. In that book, a character called Cruella de Vil was introduced and she had exactly three aspects to her character: (1) She was obsessed with fur. (2) She wants dog fur in particular (3) Anyone or anything that gets in the way of that second one is considered an agent for the antichrist. The animated movie would give subtle elaborations to that character, making her a force of nature, exaggerating the ego, basically doing all the things Disney did with their villains from 1937 to recently when Disney realized they could put those villains in Washington D.C instead.
Then, Disney had to justify making a remake to this story, so they made Cruella into a fashion designer since I guess that's related to fur. And since fashion design is one of the few occupations associated with women with any significant amount of influence or power, well then let's throw in an out of place feminist line that women will use for screenshots long after people stopped caring about the movie. By the way, the movie was written by 90s era John Hughes. Your favorite feminism line was written by a middle aged white guy who wrote Flubber and Baby's Day Out.
My argument is the Cruella character never really came of a place of substance. She was a device to tell a very simple story. That feminism line works fine on its own as a screenshot. But in a movie that's about cute dogs thwarting criminals that want to skin them, it doesn't quite work. Basically, if you were to make a standalone story about an established character (a children's book character no less), surely you have an reinterpretation in mind or maybe a story that would give the character more dimension. Like, if Milton could do that with literal Satan, someone at Disney could do that with a white lady.
Instead, (I feel I use the word instead a lot when reviewing Disney remakes), we got what essentially every bad prequel movie does. It merely takes the iconic traits of a character and gives a half-hearted explanation for how they originated. The first thirty minutes are the most egregious examples of this, possibly in any prequel movie I've ever seen. The two goons that work under Cruella were actually people she knew as early as when they were children. They were always thieves! Isn't that convenient? Did I mention the original book got flak for having anti-Romani stereotypes? I guess Disney didn't read that part of the Wikipedia page.
Do you know why Cruella doesn't have parents? It's not like they were irrelevant to the story, so they never bothered to bring them up, NO! Her mom was killed after being run off by Dalmatians. It's so fucking lazy.
Being friends with filmmakers, I sometimes get scripts to read so I can give feedback and the like. A thing I look for when reading first drafts is finding what I like to call gold nuggets. First drafts are often bad. That's their nature. But equally as often, those first drafts contain nuggets that have genuine potential. Like gold nuggets, they are unrefined. But with careful hands, they can easily turn to perfect ingots.
It's not a good sign when watching a movie and feeling like Im watching a first draft script, because you can see the gold nuggets hiding in plain sight.
There were two moments that stuck out as gold nuggets.
The first is early on when Cruella befriends a black girl as a child. Since the movie is set in a pretty racially charged time, I thought it was a start to an interesting angle to exploring racism. Systemic racism in the U.K is not really explored at least for U.S audiences. This could have been an opportunity to do that and give Cruella a sympathetic side and a relationship that we would have the pleasure to watch grow overtime. Instead...well this is a Disney remake. Ain't no realities of Black oppression is going to fuck up Disney's quarterlies, right?
The other moment is Emma Thompson who plays Cruella's boss throughout the movie. I presumed because I've seen movies before that they were going for a fall from grace story where Cruella is taken under the wing of an evil mentorship in order to attain a lifelong ambition and is elegantly corrupted into the contemptible villain we know and love. Instea-THEY ARE DOING A FUCKING HEIST MOVIE-WHAT!!!!
Let Me Take a Break
102 Dalmatians is a movie released in 2000. It's only significance is being the first DVD I recall owning. It was that and Inspector Gadget. Yeah, my tastes were delectable back then.
Now these movies are famous for Glenn Close's performance as Cruella. And for those that are curious about seeing that performance in action, I highly recommend just skipping the first movie and go straight into the second one. If you want to know why Glenn Close's performance is considered iconic, it is all in that second movie.
102 Dalmatians gives so much for Glenn Close to do. One scene has her rip a shut door with her bare hands. She commits crimes such as drugging unsuspecting dinner guests, framing someone of a crime, false imprisonment, and violating parole. She gets baked into a cake in a very graphic scene. She has a psychotic break scene that felt directed by David Lynch. This movie is going sixty in school zone.
Much respect to Emma Stone. She is the A+ student regardless if she is grouped with ineptitude. However, an actor is only as good as the material you give them. I made a whole fucking
blog about it. And yeah, they gave her scraps when it comes to opportunities to go wild and out.
You get about a full hour before Cruella does anything remotely Cruella. The rest is this long numbing exercise of going through predictable plot threads and generic dialogue in order to set up flashes of the things people pay money to see. Scene 1 of 102 Dalmatians has Cruella in a prison cell eerily giggling while puppies run all over her. That's how to start a movie about a woman who wants to skin puppies! With Cruella, you have Emma Stone struggling to make the most of what little she can do. The interesting costumes and sets are a facade to the fact that none of this movie has any meaningful substance.
God, I intimately understand why Meryl Streep's character in Devil Wears Prada is such an asshole. When you are presented with such obvious mediocrity you just want to dress these fuckers down. You are given Emma fucking Stone and you make her stand quietly while Emma Thompson does a watered down version of the same character I just referenced. It's beyond criminal.
God Even the Soundtrack is Bad
Using popular music in movies is like using a crutch. In that, if I see you using it without needing it, Im going to beat you with said crutch.
The music in this movie felt haphazardly picked. It felt like a random mix tape pulled from the editor's Spotify. It doesn't gel with the pacing of the scenes. It's A1 sauce on a steak. It's an established flavor meant to mask a flavorless foundation.
It's soul sucking to watch. Here you have artists from the 1960s and 70s that put their hearts and passions into creating transformative music that would build on the canon that is humanity. And now, in 2021, they are used to try to salvage this dog turd of a movie.
It conveys to me what I've seen from every live action Disney remake. It shows a lack of confidence. A heist movie can actually do a lot without music believe it or not, and that's usually because the mise en scene is well considered. Oceans 11 isn't good just because it has good music. Oceans 11 also has stakes that are clear. Blocking and cinematography that create a visceral tension. Interpersonal relationships that inform conflict. The music is just one ingredient to enhance an already well crafted scene. It is not used as a distraction meant to not look at how shoddily the scenes are edited together. A good mark of editing is not noticing the editing, and these heist sequences did not pass that test. And now, Im wondering now if I should delve deeper or take another break. You know fuck it, I need some self-care.
I Need Another Break (Preferably a Cigarette One)
One of the things both the original movie and 102 Dalmatians highlight is how rich people exploit poor people's inability to sustain themselves in the face of a massive financial burden. Cruella does that in both movies. She tries to buy out Dalmatians from owners that are struggling to afford to keep 15 puppies. And in the sequel, she buys a charity on the verge of closure in order to rehabilitate her image.
To me, these are the themes of 101 Dalmatians. It's a simple one but effective especially in this era of current Disney and their 101 Abused VFX artists.
It's why the girlboss angle always bothered me. You're talking about a character who is rooted in this anti-capitalist statement and you're having her as your protagonist?
Remember the Civil Rights Movement?
You might know the name Rosa Parks and how she was a major face in that movement, but a less commonly known fact was that she was just the face that won the audition. Many people such as Claudette Colvin* also had been arrested long before Rosa Parks. Unfortunately, activists at the time didn't publicized it due to her being an pregnant teen. It's tragic and shows how the sausage is made when it comes to activism. But when you are in a competition of competing narratives, a good character that reflects your values is essential.
I say this because if the writers of Cruella were in charged of the Civil Rights movement if it happened today, they would have made the face of the Montgomery Bus Boycott fucking Bill Cosby with a blonde wig, and we'd all screwed.
*After drafting this segment, Claudette Colvin passed away at the age of 86. Thank you Colvin for your contributions to civil rights and for letting me use you as a device to make fun of a Disney movie.
So to circumvent this, there are very contrived and clumsy moments that have the obvious goal of distancing her away from her evil associations. It speaks to what I like to call the "Smoking Problem." The idea of something like smoking, a feature of Cruella's character, is omitted for commercial or legal reasons. And because of these omissions, it can potentially break immersion when characters, especially in a historical period where smoking was socially acceptable, is not shown doing just that. Granted, I can forgive cigarettes since it's not just a Disney problem but the general realities of how movies are made. It's not ignoring racism at least. But point is, the film puts on a vain effort to try to rehabilitate her character to make her more appealing to modern audiences to the detriment of her character.
For one, she has a gay colleague. And yeah, I guess having gay friends just instantly makes you a better person. Just ask Ellen DeGeneres. I should remind you if you've forgotten that this is a review of a movie about a Disney villain, and she doesn't do anything remotely cruel to any of her henchmen and associates. We live in a reality where Ellen DeGeneres is a better Disney villain than Cruella De Vil.
In fact, I can't recall her doing anything that evil. The most evil thing she does in the ENTIRE movie is disobey her mother which snowballs in her mother's death. But even then, they couldn't commit, so it's later revealed that she wasn't the cause of her mother's death after all, exonerating her of any guilt, and wiping Cruella's hands clean of any potential growth characters get when processing a misjudgment.
There's a scene that stuck out to me where the Romani goon tells Cruella that cliche "revenge won't bring back your mom." And I guess in a joke, she nonchalantly dismisses it. A little amusing I guess, but it lacks the edge that I associate with Cruella. My Cruella wouldn't have hesitated in beating the shit out of that goon for talking out of line. Where's that Cruella? You are doing a Disney VILLAIN movie, and you don't have her do anything genuinely villainous. I feel I'm watching the girlboss equivalent of a family dinner where they didn't salt any food because it would be "unhealthy." Bitch, I'm not watching Cruella to be healthy, where's my gravy?
It stands out the most with Roger. The guy who would later write the famous in-universe Cruella De Vil radio hit. He doesn't hate Cruella for any direct means. He hates her because she was tangentially related to the reason he got fired. So instead of resenting the person that fired him, which I think 99% of normal ass people would do, he instead resents Cruella? Why? Emma Thompson was clearly the cruel abusive one to Roger even before Cruella was in her life. But, I guess Roger needs to eventually write the famous song, so we'll just say he hates Cruella anyway. This writing by the way still got over half a million people to rate this movie 4 stars or above on Letterboxd. I guess you can't have any girlbossing without some gaslighting. I just wish the gaslighting came from the actual Cruella, so we can have some actual character in this film.
The aforementioned plot line of Cruella being the main villain's daughter is only done to get Cruella into wealth that doesn't involve her doing the things rich people normally do in reality to quickly accrue hoards of wealth. Cruella doesn't exploit low income factory workers. She doesn't defraud innocent people. There wasn't a strategic marriage. Can you imagine Cruella killing a random husband while manically laughing just to net his cash? Apparently, Disney didn't. Because instead, she got it through an inheritance that wasn't meant to be hers, but that's ok! The person with the money was a bad guy and not this woman who is known for wanting to skin dogs.
Conclusion
Some of you might harp on my insistence that she likes to skin dogs since she doesn't actually do anything like that in the movie, but I'll present it to you from a different perspective.
Out of curiosity, I looked up Casey Anthony on Wikipedia. I surprised to find that no Wikipedia on her really exists. Only the Caylee Anthony case at the time of writing exists. It speaks to what I was alluding to before. Casey Anthony, outside of this case, has nothing of value. No lesson to be learned. No relationship to explore. She would be a total nothing burger if she were made into a fictional character, because all she has is this albatross around her neck. And to ignore that albatross, it not only negligently dismisses the brutality of the situation, but it shows to me where y'alls priorities actually lie.
Cruella to me isn't a movie for girlbosses, feminists, and the like. It is capitalist slop. Any heart or potential you might have pulled from this character would have revealed an underbelly that none of you seem to want to accept. You gobbled pure movie enshittification. A movie with less performance, craft, and humanity. And they got away with it, because y'all bought into it.
Granted, that's the trapping of enshittification that makes it so devious. The infancy of enshittification is always accepted with an "at least" that people will easily accept as a reasonable compromise before that compromise turns unreasonable. It's a morally dubious transaction, but a transaction that consumers theoretically get the fruits of. 101 Dalmatians used a xerox method that made it's animation lesser quality than movies like Bambi and Fantasia. But "at least," we got cozy movie in spite of that. And hey, if cutting corners means more flexibility for art to shine, it can't be that bad? Right????
The first 101 Dalmatians remake is just a soulless shadow of the original, but it "at least" opened up to an electric performance later on. Patch's London Adventure is a mere direct to video junk but "at least" they understand that having Cruella being extra is the minimal requirement for making a 101 Dalmatians movie. She even fucking smoked in that one. Bet a Disney lawyer got flogged for not catching that one.
Shit, Canine Crunchies is just fictional dog food, but "at least" the commercial has a catchy jingle. Cruella doesn't even reference Canine Crunchies. They couldn't even be bother to homage the bottom of the barrel art that is fictional commercial jingles. Cruella "at least" has cool costumes and Emma Stone and faintly reflects the values that women are hungry for. But, how much less are we willing to accept from Disney? Maybe in Cruella 2, the costume designs will be AI generated but at least Emma Stone will still look fetch in them. With how Disney has been lately, are you comfortable in giving Disney the benefit of the doubt?
It's a lesson that we shouldn't accept less even from our girlboss films. There are better more organic movies that can achieve your needs that Cruella never could. It make take some Letterboxd sleuthing, but the effort will be all worth it if it means one less audience member for trash like this.
So there's my picket sign. "Serve Cunt; Not Slop!"