Despite video games being around for upwards of fifty years now, there are still a few genres that games seldom do really well such as romance or family drama. Comedies are another genre rarely seen done well.
There are a number of reasons why. Games, much like movies, have to stretch humor throughout a long running time which is harder to pull off than in a YouTube skit or television episode. Secondly, comedy has a unique stigma of being a lower art regardless of the content. If it's high brow, it's often considered alienating or niche thus not pulling a big audience. And if it's low brow, it will pull a general audience but will be seen as degenerate and pandering.
In my opinion, Conker's Bad Fur Day rides the line almost perfectly. And this blog, I will talk about, among other things, why Conker's Bad Fur is one of the best written and finely crafted games. My goal is by the time you are finished with this entry, you too will want to put this game in a bloody museum.
I was a gamer for almost my entire life, but I didn't start becoming really into the medium until I was introduced to retro games through online video. Thanks to channels like Screwattack, FlamesonFire, and some of the Normal Boots alums like PBG, I became obsessed with retro gaming. I love games, and to think there was a gigantic catalog that spanned nearly two decades was salivating. It was the first time my fantasies of being a treasure hunting pirate became a reality. Though, I wasn't hunting for gold. I was hunting gaming classics: Contra, Mega Man X, Super Metroid, that one game where you play as a decapitated mummy, and more.
Now for reference, this was before I knew how to emulate. The Rare Replay was still years away from releasing, and I didn't know anyone who owned a copy as almost all my friends were Playstation brats. The only option was buying it online which brought about a teeny tiny problem. The game was fucking expensive!!!!
This was before retro games got hellishly expensive across the board. Conker was an expensive game back then. And me, a poor pre-teen at the time, couldn't purchase it without blowing a gigantic hole in my birthday money fund. However, one year I asked my parents for an Amazon card to pay towards buying the game for Christmas. It was my surprise come Christmas that my parents gifted me the entire game.
God, I miss that feeling. If there is one void that even emulation can't fill, it is the catharsis of holding that cartridge in your hands, feeling the texture graze your fingers, and admiring the artwork. Suffice to say, it is better than sex.
It was also an Nintendo 64 game. Despite being my first console, I didn't own too many N64 games, so I missed out on a lot of classics such as Starfox 64, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time and Paper Mario 64. Can you imagine the shame I felt being a Nintendo nerd yet had never played Mario Kart 64? I owned fucking Hey You Pikachu and Elmo's Number Journey but not Goldeneye!
Conker's Bad Fur Day was another one I missed out on. Although in retrospect, it was for the best that I played Conker at an appropriate age. I was kid prone to mimicking the media I loved, and being exposed to a paint can calling a pitch fork a stupid bastard would have definitely lead to some verbal altercations with my 5th grade Math teacher.
But let's rewind, there's a reason this game was so high on my bucket list, and the reason can be seen in the first fifteen seconds of Conker with the logo introduction of one of the most iconic game developers of all time!
I cannot understate how big Rareware was as a studio. Long before I knew anything about video games and how they were made, I noticed the Rareware logo, and I noticed how it would appear in almost every favorite game I had as a kid: Banjo Kazooie, Banjo Tooie, Donkey Kong Country & 64, Kameo, and Diddy Kong Racing. It was as if the logo sneezed a blessing onto the game itself.
For even a dipshit child to understand the brilliance of a studio speaks to the renown status Rareware had. Up until the early 2000s, it was almost guaranteed that a Rare game was going to be no less than solid.
There are a number of reasons they had an impeccable track record. The studio had a healthy dose competition between teams, so they would work tooth and nail to try to one up each other. They had an innovation over profit mentality. This lead to a lot of diverse games to the extent that they made a game from almost every genre as well as technological innovations such as 3D graphics on the SNES. Of course, there is also the close partnership with Nintendo which reinforced both the innovation and ambition at Rare.
They also had a knack for not committing to an idea if it didn't work. Diddy Kong Racing, for example, changed several times before the final version starting off as an RTS, then to an amusement park inspired adventure game, to a generic racing game, and finally to Diddy Kong. That crackhead level of stream of consciousness to go from Starcraft to a game about farm animals racing each other really highlights the creative energy at Rare being able to juggle business & technological limitations as well as the understanding of the failing faster philosophy.
This leads to Conker which also started out as a different idea. Initially a run-of-the-mill platformer, Conker had a rocky development to put it simply, and what was supposed to be a 1998 release got delayed repeatedly. By 2000, being a 3D platformer wasn't so special. By that point, we saw the release of Spyro the Dragon, Rayman 2, and Crash Bandicoot....and Croc, Glover, Sonic Adventure...and Toy Story 2, Gex 2, Pac-Man World, and Spyro 2...and Super Magnetic Neo, Spyro 3, Chameleon Twist. Look, you get the idea.
Rare itself already had three 3D platformers under their belt by the time they reached Conker, so they understandably had to pivot. So, the team did what any creative mind would when faced with an oversaturated genre, they made the fucking fun out of it. And so, we got the crass game we have today.
And going back to my younger days, this game became a legend. I would see Youtubers talk about this game in their Top Ten lists and whatnot. I watched let's plays and cutscene compilations. I was taken by it. And being one of the few great Rare titles I haven't played, I knew I had to have it for myself.
Conker is a surprisingly rigid structure for a game that promotes itself with this punk mentality. I mean the game opens with Conker chain sawing the N64 logo. That's about as rebellious as you can get from a major Nintendo release at the time.
Yet, it doesn't reflect in gameplay. Conker's basic move set consists of only a high jump, a frying pan, and a hover ability. A far smaller move set than many of the popular contemporaries at the time. There's collectables, but they are treated as a formality. There are few strung about with most of them required to keep the game linear. Finally, the levels follow the same almost exact rhythms. There is a character that impedes progress unless bringing a set of items. There are gameplay gimmicks in the form of context sensitive commands that breaks up the normal platforming. And in typical gameplay fashion, levels end with a boss fight.
It's rigid but this doesn't mean it is repetitive. Rather, this structure serves as a valuable foundation for the game. Without it, the game can't hang gags or its creative context sensitive set pieces on.
I guess I should briefly explain the context sensitive mechanics. These are prompts that allows Conker to do special tricks that pertains to the situation like pulling out a slingshot to shoot down aerial enemies. It's a genius idea for a mechanic for two reasons. First, it thematically works as it odes to cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny who can seemingly pull anything out of their nonexistent pocket. And it melds into the the minimal nature of the controls. Since Conker can only jump, crouch, and press B, the context sensitive mechanics can replace the B button for any purpose. And because of that, it is instantly intuitive. Some games can't even teach how to climb ledges without a dragged out tutorial, but Conker is able to do so many cartoon antics with little hand holding aside from the occasional primer.
So going back to my initial point, the structure, which is seemingly surface level, is actually serves a valuable function. This applies the other seemingly surface level gameplay. There are not much to collect, but that means there is no bloat. Bloat, a common problem in comedies, is non-existent as they're only as many collectables as gags. No DK64 padding (more on that later). The story, which can be describe in less than a sentence, serves what great comedies need by providing a contextual framework.
The foundation is also useful during the times when Conker subverts that structure. Reflecting the comedy, the game gets increasingly absurd and unpredictable the further you're into the game. By the end of the game, Conker becomes less of a platformer and more third person shooter.
It's artistry in simplicity. It invokes the adage of perfecting one kick instead of minimally executing multiple.
As I mentioned, there is no filler. If heart disease is to middle aged men, then filler is to comedy. It never fails. If there is a comedy that falters or flat out fails, chances are it has this problem. SNL can't do much with their seemingly creative premise? They will use filler to justify turning it to a skit.
Conker understands that it can't sustain its humor if it had half the content of a Banjo Kazooie or Mario 64. So instead, the designers' priority was to think of nothing but gags. This runs contrary to mechanic centered philosophy where everything centers around the core mechanics. I know at least game video essayists since the dawn of man push this philosophy. But I don't mind that Conker doesn't follow standard practice.
The goal of this game is clear. Where a game's goal is to invoke a sense of adventure or test your grit. Conker's endgame is to make you laugh.
It is endearing and adds to humor knowing that Conker is self-aware about what it is. There is a playfulness that makes the juvenile or absurd bits enjoyable unlike other media that tries the same style.
I am not big on juvenile humor. In fact, I normally hate it, but I love it here which is saying a lot. Conker gets gross. Cows shit incessantly after eating prune juice. A number of characters spontaneously explode in gory chunks. There's pissing, sexual undertones, sexual overtones, testicles, rampant cursing, and shameless violence.
The reason for why it's funny here is different from joke to joke, so let me focus on an example.
There is a boss fight involving a giant cave man who carries a big bone. It's implied he is overcompensating for something. I wonder what???
The boss fight has Conker riding a raptor. This is one of the most violent sections in the entire game as you gore enemies and ripping chunks of flesh off the boss fight. It feels like it is leading to an ultra violent pay off. After all, practically every on screen death has been just that. But what does the boss in isn't a decapitation or getting tore limb from limb, it's his loin cloth falling over revealing his 'small bone.' The boss is done in through embarrassment.
Jokes like this are found throughout the entire game: the whole catfish sequence, the big breasted babe, the Great Mighty Poo come to mind. Juvenile humor tends to be lazy with the actual construction of the joke, but there is a clear wit behind Conker throughout the game. It varies its surprises, and it helps that the dialogue is sharply written. I will get into the Greg scene a little later, but I quote that scene almost constantly. I also annoyed my brother with the line "clear the way" from time to time.
You know, I am not even going to bother transitioning into this one. Let's talk about Greg.
While this cutscene is famous, it isn't famous famous. It isn't the Skyrim intro or entering Rapture. And it is a shame, because this is a masterclass in writing.
For context, the cutscene plays after your first death. You are greeted by a grim reaper named Greg who explains the extra lives system. It's a brilliant case study in how to contextualize a game mechanic while also being a really funny dialogue exchange.
I bring this up because Conker isn't just funny. It's elegantly written throwing in almost every writing trick in the book.
To start, the opening scene is about as graceful as you can get in checking off all the necessities needed for a traditional narrative. We got a medias res scene establishing the premise of the game as a parody of pop culture. And if the Clockwork Orange homage doesn't clue you in on the adult nature of the game, the following scene that opens with a feminine anthropomorphic bunny showing her ass to the camera will. I always like in visual narratives that are crass or the like when they have a weed out scene. There is a sincerity that the story isn't trying to trick you. Martin Scorsese did this with Wolf of Wall Street for those coming in expecting Goodfellas, and Rare did the same for their audience.
Anyway, the sequence gives us an introduction of Conker's personality and establishes three things about him. One is that he is mischievous as demonstrated by him lying to Berri. Two is that he is self-indulgent based on his partialness to drinking. And three, that he is not above to holding disdain for those around him based on his mood while sitting on something as grand as a giant throne.
These will serve as a set up to many of the bits laid throughout the game. His quick thinking to convince the inept guard that he is an elephant. His willingness to help people if there is money involved. His contempt for the same people he's helping because they get on his nerves.
On the other end of the spectrum, you have a pretty well crafted ending. As Conan O Brian pointed out, it is hard to think of an ending to a comedy especially one as weird and aimless as Conker, but I think Rare did a great job on it. Plain final boss aside, the final act ties everything up and gets you to reevaluate the entire story.
In the end, Conker is 'rewarded' for his good deeds he only took on for entirely selfish reasons and is beautifully punished for it. He loses his love and is surrounded by the things he disdains in principle. A tale as old as time. He gets what he wants but learns the hard way that that is not what he needs.
I'll spare going scene by scene, but you can easily pick apart the craftsmanship in the writing. Lord knows there are so many details too to explore. So much so that...
From this point on, I will be citing the developer commentary of Conker. There is a lot of insight that goes into how much work went into this game. In particular, the extra mile they went in adding unnecessary details.
Almost immediately, you get visual foreshadowing to a lot of the levels in the game. You have Conker reference the solders you will see in the Normandy level. You see the hornets carrying off the beehive. To name just a few.
The director stated that he didn't want anything to just 'appear.' Everything had to be set up or established instead of apparating like most video games. It is the kind of detail you sort of start to see in the Banjo Kazooie games, but Conker makes it a point to do it as much as it realistically can. Every challenge or oddity is telegraphed in some fashion. The King Bee doesn't just appear, he falls out of the barn after pulling a switch. A war level doesn't come out of nowhere. It is teased thoroughly throughout the game.
The game also puts in more effort to contextualize gameplay gooeys than most. I don't think gamers would care if Conker didn't narratively establish the lives system or health pick ups, but the game does. So, we get fun little scenes establishing them. They go as far as to contextualize why Conker can't do his basic move set at the beginning of the game by making him hungover. That's the kind of detail that makes you look at a game, even one as great as Banjo Kazooie, and go "why didn't you do that?"
You also just have some simple yet effective level design touches. Shit that would make a great Sequelitis episode. You know what I'm saying? In the section before the Normandy level, you have to guide a bomb to two locations. But first, they make you push the bomb down a slope causing it to immediately explode upon an impact thereby establishing the bombs easily explode upon touching obstacles. Before, during, and after the barn level, you are taught how to use a slingshot. Then, you use the same aiming mechanics with knives which are more precise to throw at a still and obvious target. And finally, you have to throw knives at some wires that are harder to see, hit, and all the while under a time limit. It's a principle example of mechanical escalation. In the poopy level, you have to employ lateral thinking as you have to roll three poo balls into three spots. Two of them get you to drop a ball on an obstacle's head. And no matter which one you do first, it gives hint to apply the logic to the other obstacle. It is not a ground breaking puzzle, but it is a well crafted one.
The exercise of playing the game again for this review plus watching the commentary really shows how well designed Conker's Bad Fur Day is despite being just a basic platformer with juvenile gags. Conker runs contrary to the sentiment that dumb comedies can get away with doing the minimum. In reality, there is no excuse. There never was...
Fundamentally, there aren't any big issues. It's a very moment to moment game, so the problems are very moment to moment as well. Even an issue that is prevalent as the rudimentary 3D camera is more spotty than anything else. Sometimes it works fine. Other times, you need to wrestle with it to get it to behave.
But as I mention, the problems tend to be unique to certain sections. The really egregious one that comes to mine are the water sections. Early 3D underwater sections were about as bad as early 3D cameras, and Conker manages to achieve both in its underwater sections. One section in particular contains rotating blades that can insta-kill you if you touch them. And since the camera doesn't give a good indication of the depth between the blades and Conker, the section will likely have your highest death count in your playthrough.
The water sections are easily my most dreaded moments every time I start a new game. If I had to pick a second section that I dread the most though, it would be the Big Breast Babe. For a platformer, the game is very light in actual platforming. This is where it actually compares closer to DK64 as platforming is more a means for exploration with the occasional light challenges along the way. It's curious then that Conker would then put the most challenging platforming challenge in the first world of the game. Sure, it isn't as difficult as say Rusty Bucket Bay. But with precarious floors to walk on elevated to a height where falling can be immensely punishing, and it becomes one of the most challenging parts of the game. And after that, Conker doesn't get that platform intensive again. Like DK64, some actual platforming wouldn't be remiss.
I already mention the final boss which is fairly disappointing for a Conker boss. It lacks the wit of the other bosses. We are talking a Haystack Terminator, a sentient poo that sings opera, and caveman with a micro penis. The final boss is just a xenomorph. Yeah, it is kind of amusing. But come on, give it like a cute dog collar or something. Ignoring the context, the boss is just a generic reference. And since the bosses are generally very simple affairs, the xenomorph fight feels repetitive since there aren't any jokes or story to elevate during the skirmish.
There is also that section where you have to pee on rocks to move them, but I don't have much to say on that section. I just hate that part.
If I had to nitpick, I wish the scenes were more than just movie parodies. While Conker is hilarious, I will admit that the humor has lost a bit of luster. The rifts on the Matrix, Saving Private Ryan, and many others I mentioned previously date the game slightly even if they are technically well executed parodies. It's notable that my favorite bits from the game are the original stuff.
Before I end this retrospective, I like to briefly go over the somewhat contentious remake which would be the only other piece of Conker content.
On it's own, it is a pretty good game. This isn't the Silent Hill 2 HD port where it is an objectively point-for-point inferior version. Graphically, there is some really impressive stuff even for 2023 standards. The fur effects on Conker are amazing, and environments have this sheen that I just love like in the honey hive. And since they remained mostly faithful to the same game mechanics, it plays just as well.
Unfortunately, we don't live in a reality where we review remakes in a vacuum, so Live & Reloaded has the burden being compared to what I think is a better experience.
To be fair, Live & Reloaded gives a valiant effort in trying to be an ideal remake, so I do respect it. The art style isn't great compared to the Rareware touch of the N64 version, but I appreciate the attempt of modernizing the look while still maintaining the cartoony mood. There are strides to streamline the levels. For example, certain sections aren't as redundant by cutting down on the amount of times you have repeat similar tasks. And thanks to the XBOX having a second stick, third person shooting sections have the same pace as modern third person shooters. That being said, the streamlining comes with some caveats. First, Live & Reloaded neglects to streamline what I consider more egregious problems such as the camera and wonky swimming sections. And while I previously praised the improved shooting, the game unfortunately fails to balance to the difficulty around the improved controls. Seeing as the controls would lessen the challenge of both the tediz and zombie sections, their idea of addressing that is to swamp sections with more enemies. This leads to situations like in Dracula's mansion where the exit is littered with dozens of zombies that you have annoyingly dispatch one at a time. Oh, and for some reason, they respawn.
Other hit and miss points are the more drastic gameplay changes Rare implemented in the remake of which they are two notable ones. First, Rare threw in enemies that you must defeat like you would any other video game enemy. It's strange for a game like Conker and its minimalist design to have basic enemies. It feels tacked on and goes against the whole initial philosophy of the N64 version. The other change is the tutorial which goes off script from the N64 version in order to catch players off guard. It feels like an application to the proof of concept Banjo Kazooie 3 would have been by posing as a remake but sprinkling surprises to keep veteran players on their toes. It's a concept I've always enjoyed in remakes such as Metroid: Zero Mission or Resident Evil REmake. But again with the "unfortunately," Conker doesn't commit wholeheartedly. After the tutorial, it doesn't have anymore surprises. Granted, there was new bits plan such as a gate call "Bill" who has "windows" that crash (a funny bit btw). It would have been nice to see those in action.
...alright, that wasn't as brief as I intended. Ah well...
Conker may not be my favorite game or even my favorite Rareware title. However, when I think about the games I respect the most, Conker is among them. It's unique in its place in video games. Few games are as finely crafted in design, humor, and polish quite as Conker.
That's my review. Now if you excuse me, I better deprogram myself of all the Conkerisms before I call my boss a niggly, tiggly, shitty, little tag nut.
