Little Mermaid (2023) | Review Ramble

M.Rambles has been my longest running blog. I've tried other formats, but M.Rambles was the blog that I decided to stick with. We are on year 5 if you can believe it. One of the first blogs I written under the M.Rambles banner was a retrospect on the Beauty and the Beast remake. Since then, there have been many more live action remakes that have continued to try my patience. I didn't watch any of them, mostly out of pure spite for what they stand for. However, one title that I was slightly tempted to watch was the Little Mermaid. 

Now, Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney princess film and one of my favorite Disney movies in general. But if I had to choose a second place, it would be the Little Mermaid. I hold the Little Mermaid very close to my heart. The music is beautiful. The animation made me fall in love with the ocean and aquatic creatures when I was younger. Ariel was my first crush and gave me a leg fetish. Little Mermaid is a special movie in the M.Rambles vault of nostalgia and sexual awakenings. 

After Beauty and the Beast, I had no optimism that a Little Mermaid live action movie would justify its existence, so what compelled me to watch it now? Well, two things. One, I have a morbid curiosity. I probably wouldn't look away if one of my family members gets mangled in a car accident. I feel the Beauty and the Beast (2017) is like a few notches below that. And the second reason, my friend claims it was pretty good. She has been known to have good taste. However, she also unironically likes the Catwoman movie. 

So that's the two questions we'll be entering this review with! How traumatic Little Mermaid (2023) will be if at all? And, will I have to block my friend on Letterboxd and possibly file a restraining order? Let's find out! 

But First, A Quick Word from Our Sponsor "Simplicity"

I began the movie on Disney+ and watched ten minutes. I then had the urge to stop watching it and rewatch the original Little Mermaid movie. And boy, how deflated I was when I realized this is the exact outcome I was expecting. 

If you are a lover of storytelling, you are cognizant of the many complexities and nuances narratives are capable of. And once you become aware of those complexities, you might go back to your childhood favorites and gain a newfound appreciation for their artistry you were never aware of as a child. Unless of course you grew up on Sharkboy & Lavagirl, you might have rude awakening with that one. 

Point is that things that are childlike and simple are just as capable of having narrative qualities we find in things more adult. And in the case of Little Mermaid, despite how simple that movie is, there is a ton under the hood that makes the movie work.

Part of why is because this movie was expensive. Little Mermaid might not look like it, but this was at the time one of the most expensive animated projects ever made. A whopping $400 million to portray a naive teenager falling in love and making a whole bunch of mistakes, but that's only a small part of the picture.

Hand drawn animation is an expensive and time consuming art. And so, the team had to make efficient use of what they told on screen. You can't animate War and Peace properly on the same budget of Little Mermaid when even five minutes of animation could cost upwards of thousands of dollars, and this is excluding voice acting, special effects and other aspects needed in a production. 

This is the hidden component that makes Little Mermaid so great. The movie does a great job doing a lot with very little. 

The opening scene makes this abundantly clear especially when compared to the remake. The remake takes five minutes on the boat, establishing the human world, introducing Prince Eric's character, and naturally transitioning to the ocean world. Typically, a five minute scene isn't a problem by itself. The problem is that it's done better in the original! It's able to do the same exact thing: establish the human world, Dave*, and transitioning to the ocean world in two minutes flat. This has a knock on effect of being better paced because it doesn't spend longer than necessary on the formalities of the story. 

*For some reason, I often get Prince Eric and Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks confused. So if I accidentally say Dave, just let it be. Lord knows, I ain't going to correct it. 

And in the case of the remake, it creates a reoccurring problem where everything just feels slightly worse. Because like all these remakes, it is a mere retelling of the same story. The best elements are pulled straight from the original. Any changes or additions feel mostly arbitrary, and any changes that I thought should be implemented are either under developed or nonexistent. I will touch on that last part in a later section. 

Speaking of Arbitrary, What the Hell Did They do to Sebastian?!?!

A lot of detractors of the remake will point out the seagull played by Awkwafina and how annoying she was. And yeah, she can be grating, but it didn't bother me as much as I expected. 

What did bother me was Sebastian, and it's for seemingly petty but important reasons. 

But before I get to that, I suppose I should discuss the cast. The cast is fairly hit and miss. To the movie's credit, the ones they got right were not unimportant characters. 

Halle Bailey is one of the hits and in my opinion the biggest one. Im going to be honest, I initially wrote off Bailey when they announced her as Ariel. Not for bigoted reasons obviously, but you have to understand Ariel is not someone you can simply translate to live action. All of Ariel's quirks and mannerisms are ingrained deep in her animation. You see this in the sequence where she doesn't talk. Her expressiveness is a big part of her character and not something that a human being could properly match. What can I say ladies, 2D girls just have this one over you all. 

That being said, Halle Bailey does an admirable job. She carries a similar affability in the way she smiles and interacts with the animal characters. I like her. She may not have the jaw dropping legs, but she has the tummy you want to tickle if you can catch my perverted analogy. 

The other stand out performance is Javier Bardem. And yeah, not much to say on bloody Javier Bardem. "What's that! A four time Oscar nominated actor gave a good performance? No kidding." 

However, this segways back to the fact that this is just a remake. Here you have a great up and coming actor and a celebrated acting veteran. And instead of having them do an original movie, you have them do The Little Mermaid. It feels like a waste of potential. It's even more frustrating for Halle Bailey. This was her chance to break out into the mainstream, and I think the world would have been better with more of her out there. However, everyone, including myself, can't help but compared her to an animated character, and this is not even mentioning the hoopla of having to absorb the backlash of being a black woman. It's not fair for her. Of course, her fate is not sealed. I just hope she gets a starring role that really utilizes her well. There is a masterpiece romance film just waiting for her to be on the top bill, and I hope she gets it soon. 

There is a whole blog I could do about racism and fandoms making it harder for mainstream franchises to be creative and interesting. It's too much of a tangent. So instead, let me bitch about Melissa McCarthy. 

Similar to Ariel, Ursula is a character that is made in the animation. She is an inspired villain. Some guy one day thought to himself "you know that actor who dressed in drag and ate dog shit in front of a 16mm camera? What if that was a Disney villain?" So they took that, fused that with Pat Carroll just absolutely serving cunt, and you got one of the best Disney villains of all time. 

Needless to say, Melissa McCarthy doesn't quite live up to-like why didn't they didn't they just cast an talented drag queen for the role?!? I guess Disney didn't want to have two controversial casting decisions in one movie. But man, it would have elevated that film and at least gave these cold remakes a breath of warm fresh air. You need someone completely extra and bombastic that you can't take your eyes off of. You do not need someone who gave one good comedic performance in 2011 and proceeded to fail upwards with horrible studio comedies. The amount of conservative middle-aged husbands who suffered in the theaters in the 2010s because their wives wanted to see films like Tammy should be labeled as a travesty! 

"Sir, weren't you going to talk about Sebastian?" 

"Oh, right Fillmore. Thank you for reminding me. I'll get onto that." 

Anyway, Sebastian in the remake is played by Daveed Diggs of Hamilton fame. I mention him because while I hate his performance, I do not think it is Diggs' fault. After all, as Hamilton proves, he is a really solid actor especially in the musical genre. It seems the problem is the musical aspects themselves. 

I started noticing the problems when the movie makes the decision to not have Sebastian be a celebrated composer and instead just an advisor to King Triton. I thought "that's strange. That change seems unnecessary." 

Now this is speculation on my part, but my reasoning as to why they made this change was because they didn't have much confidence in their arrangements. 

I'm not a music expert nor claim to have good music tastes. I've only seen Weird Al in concert and think Hotel California is annoying. So obviously take these opinions with a grain of salt. 

That said, I don't need a certificate in music theory to say Ashman and Menken are amazing songwriters. Their contribution to Little Mermaid is nothing short of masterful. I imagine if you were tasked to rearrange one of the most iconic musical soundtracks of all time. You probably begin the composition with the sound of a gun firing directly at your temple. 

Because of this, the music in the remake feels off. Like I said, my lack of expertise can't pinpoint why that is. I just know when I jumped into the original, the music is energizing and full. When I jump back to the remake, I'm deflated and feel like I went to a really uncool party. BACK TO THE ORIGINAL, AND THE KISS THE GIRL SONG MAKES ME FLUTTERY AND HAPPY. AND GOD, IT'S SUCH A PRETTY SONG. Back to the remake, the same kiss the girl song feels weak and yeah this Sebastian is certainly a royal advisor. 

...man, I'm depressed. 

So yeah, someone out there can articulate this point better, but there is a lack of confidence and energy to the rearrangements. It's not as good. And for some reason, they made Awkwafina rap. 

In other words, the Little Mermaid makes me feel like true love is inevitable whereas the remake makes me feel like I wasted $15 on Bumble Premium. 

Let's Talk About the Third Act, Because I Think We All Want This Suffering to End

If you asked me to remake the Little Mermaid, and you blocked off all the exits and access to firearms, I would probably take a stab at improving the third act. 

While I praised Little Mermaid for its efficient writing within the limits of expensive hand drawn animation, it has the drawback of having a very truncated third act. 

Little Mermaid is a love story. But watching it now, it is more a drama between a father and their daughter. This to me is the heart of the Little Mermaid. Here you have the classic depiction of a well-intentioned but close minded father clashing with a naive but good-natured daughter. The plot and how the characters are motivated revolve around this dynamic. 

That said, the third act does little to reinforce the arc of that relationship. Triton gives Ariel her human form, and that's it. There is very little in elaborating on that relationship. We don't see Ariel really struggle with the decision of leaving the ocean world after the climax and the potential guilt of almost causing a cataclysmic event. There is not that many interactions between the ocean world and human world. Ariel doesn't even say goodbye to Triton. 

Now again, it's understandable why they didn't explore this relationship further. If you were making an expensive animated film for children, a father and daughter relationship probably had less priority than the sequence where an ethnic stereotype is chasing a crab in slapstick fashion. While I would like to see Ariel and Triton have more scenes together in the third act, I understand that wasn't in the cards with Disney back in 1989. 

So with this remake, these obstacles are not that big of an issue. You have more room to work with. Live action provides easier means to shoot more intrapersonal interactions. And while CGI is not easy work, it has the benefit of being more streamlined than hand drawn animation. 

Unfortunately, the result is that the third act, Triton, and that father-daughter relationship feels like a lateral move than a objective improvement. 

For one, the third act is basically the same as in the original. Ariel is too late to kiss Dave. Ursula gets the trident. There is a battle. Ariel gets to be human and get the guy. To its credit, the movie at least gives one final interaction between Ariel and Triton which is better than Ariel merely snogging her new hubby. However, I was hoping for something more meaty, and the addition of a two minute scene isn't worth the price of entry of sitting through an entire remake. 

Besides, all of this means nothing since they nerfed Triton as a character. This is another case of the creative team having little confidence in their narrative. In the original, Triton was genuinely unlikeable. He's harsh, and he is responsible in being the tipping point for Ariel by destroying her hideout. You weren't meant to sympathize with Triton beyond a few insights that Triton is a kind soul who wants what's best for Ariel. 

In the remake, that is softened. They go way too far in rationalizing Triton by adding the backstory of Triton's wife being killed by sailors. This did what they intended by making Triton more sympathetic, but it has a knock on effect of making Ariel more unlikeable. After all, it's harder to rationalize Ariel now that she is doing these reckless things in spite of her knowing that her dad's motives are out of grief and fear. 

Even then, they don't commit to the notion that the human world is dangerous. You have one brief showing of fishermen harpooning animals. But other than that, they do little in reinforcing the strained dynamic between ocean and humans outside of dialogue. I assumed they would explore this during the scene where Ariel turns back into a mermaid during the wedding. You can have a moment where Ariel is antagonized by the people who at first treated her kindly. But no, they instead just repeat the same climax as last time because I suppose it was easier. 

In the end, you got the same weak third act with the now added sting of wasted potential. 

Conclusion

A few weeks back, Nosferatu hit theaters. It was a critical success despite having aspects that remakes often get lambasted for. It's a retread of the same story. It does little to do anything different. etc. 

The question is why does something like Nosferatu gets met with praise while something like this Little Mermaid remake is met with, at best, indifference? 

The answer is passion. You can tell from Eggers direction that this movie was a movie he wanted to make, and his team, the cast, the crew were all in on making that movie a reality. 

The Little Mermaid remake, like all the other Disney remakes, feel like a job. You can point out all the decent touches the remake included. I know I didn't include most of them. However, even if I did, it still wouldn't fix the core problem that these films are passionless. 

There was blurb that always stuck with me when I read the Little Mermaid's Wikipedia page. It says this: "The Little Mermaid is given credit for breathing life back into the art of Disney animated feature films...{and} marked the start of the era known as the Disney Renaissance."

The Little Mermaid had a lot of risk involved. You are putting $400 million on a film that could potentially fail. However, they put faith on the art. And as the story goes, it breathed life back into Disney. 

Ironic that a story of a girl eager to step out her comfort zone is made by people who are unwilling to get out of theirs. Maybe Disney will relearn the lessons of their successes. They can only kick this live action remake can for so long. 

Alright, that's my review. I gotta go. I got to make a phone call. 

phone ringing

phone ringing

Jill: This is Jill from the district attorney's office, how can I help you? 

M: Yes, I'm calling to ask someone to help me file a restraining order. Who do I need to speak to? 

Jill: Uh, of course! Well first you will need to fill out an application and bring it here. Is this urgent? Are you in danger? 

M: Not at the moment, but nevertheless, the sooner the better. 

Jill: ok...? can I get a name. 

M. My name is M. Rambles. 

Jill: Ok, Mr. Rambles. If you can bring in that filled out application, we can have a judge look it over before we can proceed. 

M: Yes of course. I can bring it later today. Is there anything else I need to bring?

Jill: No just be prepared to answer any additional questions from the judge if they may have any? Do you have other questions? 

M: Yes, I'm looking at the application, and there isn't anything regarding the person giving a bad movie recommendation. Is there a different application I can fill out? 

Jill: I'm sorry? 

M: Yeah, they made me watch the Little Mermaid remake. 

Jill: That is...not grounds for a restraining order.

M: I would beg to differ. 

Jill: Did this person violently threaten you to watch this movie?

M: ...you...could say that...?

Jill: Ok sir, I feel you should find an alternate avenue other than a restraining order. 

M: I rather get a second opinion from a practicing attorney. You know what, I'll call back once I get that. I'll talk to you later. Thank you for your time! Have a good day. 

Jill: Uh um, alright. Best of luck...Have a good day. 

My Favorite Shows of 2024

Fuck, it's really hard to write three intros. I need to find a better way to streamline this. 

Anyway, here are my Top 10 favorite television shows. You can find my Top 10 Games and Movies of 2024 here and here. Only shows where I have seen at least a season of this year will count. Sorry Family Guy Season 5. And even if you did count, you would likely be snubbed for the following...

10. Chained Soldier 

A thought I always have when crafting these lists, to give myself a chuckle, is wondering which list will be the one that will flat out have a porno as a favorite of the year. And no! Dokyusei doesn't count. That's art! 

Anyway, Chained Soldier is the closest yet we have to having pornography on these lists. But man, I cannot lie. This show was a lot of fun. 

A scrapped blog idea I had was "How to Make Schlock Enjoyable." And when I was writing it, I realize I could save time by just recommending Chained Soldier. Cause it's simple at the end of the day. Just make your characters likable and don't make me feel like I am wasting my time.  

Also I guess dommy mommies can also make your schlock good. I don't know. Let's be real, you know why it's on here. 

9. STEVE! (martin) a documentary in two pieces

This decade, I have gotten into a lot of Steve Martin stuff. I love the Jerk. And this year, I fell in love with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Spanish Prisoner. With those and watching this documentary, I am now convinced that Steve Martin is an actual genius. And if you are wondering why a guy who goofballed his way into a Platinum album and sold out stadiums, you should watch this documentary. 

Comedy is a hard balancing act, and I think Steve Martin is one of the best to do it. His has innate sense of being affable, goofy, and immensely clever. He is an aura of good feeling. There was a few Letterboxd critics complaining about the academic analysis of Steve Martin's career in this documentary. But like, we can't analyze Shakespeare forever. And like Shakespeare, things that start low brow can easily grow into something world class. I see no reason to minimize Steve Martin when his impact cannot be understated. That should at least be an academic thread on Blue Sky. 

Also, the segment of Steve Martin's personal life and finding love later in his life is touching. 

8. Percy Jackson and the Olympians

If there was any moniker that could be interpreted as a bad omen, it would be "Disney+ Original." But, I will admit when a Disney+ show proves me wrong because I really enjoyed Percy Jackson and the Olympians. 

It's got its rough edges. The show is very truncated compared to the books, and the show could have benefited from taking its time. But despite that, this is one of the best things Disney+ has produced. 

I also want to give special mention to Denise Chamian and Jordana Sapiurka. No they aren't the directors or any typically celebrated role. They are the unsung casting directors. And my God, they are responsible for making the show as excellent as it is. The cast is phenomenal. As a fan of the books growing up, I had no complaints with how the characters were casted. 

I remember when the Series of Unfortunate Events was adapted for Netflix. The first season was also rough around the edges, but every season afterwards was amazing. I got a similar optimism for this show, and I hope Disney proves me right for once. 

7. Reacher (Season 1)

Sometimes it's nice to watch a strong guy beat up corrupt racists. 

If you haven't figured out my political leanings by now, let me be more clear that I'm pro #acab and in favor of the policies needed to address those systemic issues. 

I went in expecting a cathartic action film where a guy lives out the fantasies every male has had at least one point in their lives, and we do get that. But on top of that, you get a really solid exploration of racial issues, corruption, and just the evilest of white people. 

When the show isn't showing a big guy snapping necks, it is showing a well-intentioned black police officer dealing with the predictable realities of working in a Southern small town. Malcolm Goodwin is excellent, and gives an equivalent performance to Alan Ritchson. In that, he was born to play the role of Finlay.

I also would be remiss not mentioning Willa Fitzgerald who also gives a knock out performance. And hey, she was in two things that made it into my favorites lists this year. Good for her. Hey Willa, don't pull a Jennifer Lawrence or a Brie Larson and start appearing in garbage just because you proved you can act. 

6. Abbott Elementary (Season 3 & 4)

In a first, a show that started out as a mere honorable mention has now graduated to the best of lists. 

Abbott Elementary is a story that should be the norm in the industry, and I'm not just talking about the story of an underfunded elementary school. It's a story of a lady who started out in the bottom rung of Internet humor and grew into making one of the best sitcoms on TV right now. 

Ok, maybe not the best. It's no Roseanne. But, Abbott has hit its stride starting in season 3. It improves and fleshes out the characters while maintaining the sitcom coziness. Similar to Parks and Recreation, it shedded its influences and became its own thing. 

And you know what, Abbott is no Roseanne, but it has moments of Roseanne brilliance. There was some moments in Abbott I was impressed to see in a sitcom, and it does it without it feeling inorganic. If they can leverage more of that in future seasons, I could totally see this again at an even higher spot on this list. 

5. Mashle (Season 2)

Sometimes it's nice to watch a strong guy beat up corrupt racist wizards. 

Back for their second visit on the Top 10s is Mashle now at a higher rung. 

What started as almost a guilty pleasure has turned into honestly one of the most entertaining shonens out there. 

Over the years, Harry Potter has seen a reevaluation with JK Rowling's envelope into the transphobic sludge of society. The lore is bad. The societal commentary is under explored and at times contradictory. While I still can respect the qualities of Harry Potter, I can understand those who want to stand against it especially since such a hateful person wields it to bankroll her messaging. 

Mashle is the medicine for those that hate Harry Potter. With Season 2, it ups the strengths Harry Potter lacks. The magic system is fleshed out and consistent. The social commentary is simple but meaningfully done. 

Ever since this show, it has been easier to leave Harry Potter behind. And hey, any applause of something that spits indirectly at a piece of shit is my kind of show. 

4. Silo (Season 1) 

I've really struggled with dystopian fiction these last few years. You can imagine why it's hard to enjoy with how the material is becoming more one to one with reality. Yet reading 1984 last year and now watching Silo, it seems the beauty of this genre will always find a way. 

In this case, the way they found was through a mystery, and I love a good mystery. I love the premise, and the execution is immaculate enough where the premise does not feel like it's going to waste.

Obviously, I won't spoil what's revealed in season one. Instead, I will focus on the cast which had some of my favorite performances this year. Common (the actor/musician not the adjective) kills it in this show, and Rebecca Ferguson (who also has two appearances on my 2024 Favorites this Year) gives an equivalent performance. There are many others. It's honestly one of those instances where I feel compelled to just post the entire cast list from Wikipedia. They are all great. 

Here's to hoping this show doesn't pull a Lost or gets cancelled by whims of our corporate dystopia. 

3. The Penguin

Remember the show Gotham? Likely, the answer is no. I remember it, and I remember the shining aspect to that dull show was that the Penguin was great. So great, that back then, I thought a standalone Penguin show would be amazing. 

But ten years and a few Batman iterations later, and a lot has changed since that Gotham show first aired. The overabundance of 'standalone' shows had me hesitant about a Penguin TV show. While the Matt Reeves Batman was solid, I wasn't assured that a spinoff show would carry the same quality. 

But, my worries have subsided because Penguin is that show I wanted all those years ago. Another fucking white guy committing crimes show. Apparently, I can't get enough of these. 

Penguin is a refreshing entry in the comic book genre by just being a good show. It's no Breaking Bad or Barry, but it gets the fundamentals correct while also sprinkling just enough special sauce to make it memorable. There are a handful of scenes that are immaculate. The kind that tickles that writer's brain of mine. There are other scenes that tickle another part, but Cristin Milioti will do that to you. 

That part is the heart. Please marry me Cristin Milioti. 

2. 100 Girlfriends Who Really Love You 

No, I'm not counting this as pornography either! 

I don't know if it's because I didn't see that many shows I love this year or if 100 Girlfriends is truly amazing to make it this high on this list. I also don't know which one would reflect worse on me. For the purposes of maintaining my self-esteem, let's go with the former. 

When you have a show that advertises a premise as outlandish as 100 Girlfriends, they usually cheat in some way. An example that comes to mind are shows about being in an MMO where they're just fantasy or sci-fi shows with game jargon thrown in every once in a while. 

But no, I think these madlads are making a 100-girl harem. 

And the most shocking of them all, all the characters so far are great. Sure, some are more interesting than others. But, every female character is immensely likable. 

Ah, but maybe the male protagonist is crap. That's the catch with this show-NO! In fact, this may be my favorite male protagonist in all of romance anime. 

They say everything is pornography to someone. Well in that case, Im aroused by insane premises that avoid being dumpster fires and stick the landing of having good characters and storytelling. To me, that's 100 Girlfriends, and I cannot wait for season 2.  

1. X-MEN '97

Thanks X-Men '97 and Penguin. Now I have to keep watching comic book adaptations in case you decide to be great again. 

Comic book fatigue has been a problem, and I thought this problem would suffocate the damn genre by now. However, despite corporate meddling and all the things that have exacerbated this issue. Somehow, X-MEN '97 came around and became one of the best things to come out of this genre. 

It's a recurring problem that comic books are very 'safe.' Characters that die will come back to life. Things that disrupt the equilibrium will be resolved and everything will go back to normal without that feeling earned. There is no real change nor a sense that it is a real world affected by that change. Or at the very least, it lacks a sense of danger or extraordinary feats like I'm watching characters pretend to be superheroes rather than be superheroes. 

X-MEN '97 fucking begins with the death of one of the most prominent X-MEN characters, and the entire season falls into place like beautifully arranged dominoes. 

Every episode is a fucking banger. It shows the original X-MEN cartoon how you remember it and not how it actually is. Because let's be real, for all its qualities, the X-MEN cartoon hasn't aged gracefully. 

X-MEN as a media franchise hasn't always gotten it right. In fact, some of the biggest dumpster fires  have come from X-MEN. However, when done right, X-MEN is a leader in what this genre is capable of. A genre where light shines in the deepest darkness. It can be messy. And as X-MEN '97 demonstrates, it can be very complicated, but goodness finds a way. 

I suppose that's the medicine to this comic book fatigue. We could always use a sense of hope especially as we enter 2025. And superheroes, when you strip the cynicisms the genre has suffered from, embodies that hope. X-MEN is a story of facing societal problems headon no matter how hopeless it seems, and I am glad to have that now more than ever. 

My Favorite Movies of 2024

Welcome to part 2. If you haven't seen my favorite games list, you should read it. Or don't. You don't have to. 

But now, we are onto movies. As always, any movie qualifies as long as my first time seeing it was this year. But considering this was a good year for movies, this list might have the most current year releases out of any of my movie lists. Let's talk about one of them right now...

10. The Substance

Sorry horror snobs, I'm only putting your horror darling at a mere tenth place of my favorite movies of 2024. 

You ever watch an Olympic athlete perform in a competitive setting, and their execution is so sublime they make it look easy? You wonder "hey, maybe I can do what Simone Biles does and not immediately snap in five different ways." 

The Substance is an Olympic exercise for Coralie Fargeat. To the untrained eye, the movie is not doing anything with depth and nuance. And honestly, you're right. The premise feels ripped from a TV anthology show. "What's that...Tales from the Crypt did this premise?" Well case closed!

But execution is everything. And despite the simple theme, the movie is a case study of Coralie Fargeat effortlessly wielding the filmmaking craft like it's the easiest thing in the world. 

It's not for everyone. I can't imagine a relentlessly paced, 2 hours and twenty minute, body horror film being as universally appealing as Inside Out 2. But if someone out there ever personally recommended to you to watch the Substance, you should watch the Substance. 

9. Memoir of a Snail

Adam Elliot is the first of two Australian filmmakers this year to come back for their highly anticipated new release. Mary and Max was Adam Elliot's last feature film, and it came out...oh God fifteen years ago?!?! 

And while Memoir of a Snail doesn't quite live up to the high standards of Mary and Max, this is still my favorite animated movie to come out this year. 

Adam Elliot is one of the few animators out there to push the limits of what stories animation can tell. And because of that, he is one of the few animators to scratch that itch of a Western animation exploring mature themes and subject matter. I'm still waiting for this type of animation to be the norm, but I guess I will just have to keep waiting. 

8. Strange Darling

Horror being a societal reflection has been a discussion point the moment film nerds were allowed to publish papers. Horror films are one of the few genres to consistently have their finger on the pulse of society. Films like Halloween exploiting the fear of danger within the safety of your home. Or, Paranormal Activity which reminds us that we as humans are desperately wanting something anything to happen to make our boring ass lives interesting! 

Strange Darling is the next step in horror's evolution to adapt. Our society is less concerned about physical danger, getting stab, etc. We are however afraid of being wrong. That fear our moral compass and perception is susceptible of crumbling. You could do all the research and practice tolerance, but that lingering doubt will always be there. 

That's the fear Strange Darling exploits. It's uncomfortable, and you might even be offended by its possible interpretations. But I feel that's the point. 

I'm excited for what horror cooks up next. Maybe it can exploit my fear of someone discovering a life serum that only works on Mr. Beast. 

7. Furiosa

My biggest fear this year was the possibility that I would have to snub Furiosa from the Top 10. This has been a great year for movies. And naturally, this has the potential of being bad news for Mad Max, a franchise with the unfortunate luck of getting bad news. 

I speak about Furiosa with such fear because of my guilt of not seeing Fury Road in theaters. Seeing Furiosa in IMAX was more out of penance than anything else. I know I have little sway in whether Mad Max or films like Mad Max get greenlit. But God damn it, we need more films like Furiosa. 

Furiosa is a majestic film. And cunningly, it doesn't try to top the gold standard that Fury Road set instead focusing on a story that's more intimate and character focus. Of course, it has all the Mad Max fixings of great action and silly characters, but it also seeks to be emotionally rich something I haven't seen since the very first Mad Max movie. In the same way Fury Road is seen as a more refined version of Road Warrior, I feel Furiosa is the more refined version of Mad Max 1. 

Gosh, do you think George Miller is going to take a stab at refining Beyond Thunderdome??? Oh shieeet, the potential. Have a fucking Hunger Games battle royale? Have Janelle Monae in the Tina Turner role????? Holy shit, George Miller better be eating his vegetables. We are not done with this old man. 

6. The Reflecting Skin

Robert Egger's Nosferatu unfortunately won't make an appearance on this list. Honestly, I delayed this list to watch Nosferatu as I thought this movie would share the slot with Nosferatu as a great vampire double feature. Instead, The Reflecting Skin stands on its own. 

I never consider myself a vampire fan. Yet, something like this comes around and I become vampire obsessive for as long as it stays prominently on my mind. It's the kind of film that you can't take your eyes off of. One of the most beautifully shot films I've seen in awhile.  

This is a must see for any vampire fans out there. 

5. We Live in Time

When I learned this movie was directed by John Crowley, a question on whether this would top Brooklyn was running through my mind. In short, I think I still prefer Brooklyn but in the sense that I prefer apples over oranges. 

Literally, the apples and oranges comparison is applicable. Brooklyn is a nice apple you can immediately bite into. We Live in Time is just as sweet, but there is a layer of challenge of peeling the hard surface. The movie asks a bit more out of its audience due the difficult subject matter of terminal illness. That being said, it's all well done. Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh probably have the best on screen chemistry Ive seen in a modern romance film, and I appreciate the films care to not make the tragic plot gratuitous. A lesser filmmaker would easily have *that* scene of melodrama and harsh crying, but Crowley never goes that far. And in turn, the movie does the ultimate magic trick of making you feel uplifted through a dire situation. 

Good job John Crowley, I can't wait for you to be buried under a competitive Oscar lineup again. 

4. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels & The Spanish Prisoner

Im grouping these two not because I'm indecisive but because they're two movies best watched as a pairing. 

For one, these movies are crazy similar despite being two completely different tones. Both star Steve Martin. Both take the conman genre to an over the top level where you wonder how far the turtles go all the way down. And most importantly, both of these movies are excellent. 

Steve Martin is the standout spice in both of these movies. I'll have more to say about Steve Martin in the television entry. But in the case of these two movies, it's impressive to see his range. In Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, you get your typical Steve Martin comedic performance. And in my opinion, this is my favorite Steve Martin comedy vehicle out there. And as for the Spanish Prisoner, he gives a more serious performance and he does well blending into the Hitchcockian mood of the movie. 

To see Steve Martin this high on the list should be a testament to how well he holds up as a movie star. But again, I will save that for another favorite entry you will see in another time. 

3. Conclave 

Conclave is what happens when a global conspiracy makes something that's very specifically meant to get on the M. Rambles Top 10 Lists. I mean my God, a mystery thriller about the Catholic Church that's dialogue focused, set in few locations, and doesn't go over the top. If this movie had 1950s style musical number, I might have considered putting it at number one. 

It's not a perfect movie, but it's one of the more refreshing takes on the Catholic Church. One that people will find either damning or uplifting of Christianity and both would be right. Not since Last Temptation of Christ has a movie about spirituality really surprised me. 

It's not perfect. I didn't care for John Lithgow's performance, and it takes a bit to get all the story pieces set up. But otherwise, this is one of the Oscar contenders I'm rooting for next year. 

There is also the ending which I might have to save for a separate entry due to the reaction it received. There is too much to unpack for a section of a Top Ten blog. 

That's all I will say. I really enjoyed my time with Conclave. 

 

2. Dune: Part Two

I had some magical movie theater experiences this year. I rewatched Lawrence of Arabia and Lord of the Rings for the first time on the big screen. I got to watch a Mad Max movie in IMAX. I got a family kicked out of a screening for talking too loud. I had quite the year. 

Dune: Part Two was among these experiences. And like Lord of the Rings, this will be one of those movies people will brag about seeing it in the theater when it came out many years down the line. I argue Dune: Part Two is that special. 

It's basically a perfect movie, and one I was almost certain would top this year's list. But miraculously, one surprise followed suit. 

1. Hundreds of Beavers

I was initially going to pick Dune Part 2 as my movie of the year, but then I realized. You know, comedy often gets blown off as not as reputable of a genre as say drama. Yet, comedy can be just as artistically rich as any other medium. Just because a comedy doesn't take itself seriously doesn't mean we as consumers of art shouldn't. 

So for all the prestige and technical prowess Dune has, I don't think it laid quite the impression on me as Hundreds of Beavers did this year. 

Hundreds of Beavers is quite possibly one of the best comedies ever made, and it has what any great comedy should have. Good pacing, likable characters, and some amazingly inventive and well thought out jokes. Very rarely does a comedy get so much right, so Hundreds of Beavers feels like a burning comet soaring through the skies. 

It's one of those movies that has to be seen to be believed. I won't say much about it since it's best to go in blind. But trust me when I say this: You will love this movie. And if you don't, you waive all rights to have any opinion on art ever again.