A blog entry turned annual tradition because my autistic ass hates breaking patterns.
Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore
Nostalgia. It's basically the high fructose corn syrup of indie game productions. Almost all the high profile indie games homage, reference, or off-brand copy some established game. And granted, I love these games like Shovel Knight and Undertale, but the idealist wants more original stuff. But I digress.
Anyway, my point is that these games, like your Shovel Knight and Undertale, are usually deriving from games that are-you know-good. I can't really think of a time where an indie game homages a title that's not only bad but some of the worst games ever made. That being Wand of Gamelon and Faces of Evil.
When I first heard of Arzette, I thought "he-he, that's a neat idea." And then, I kind of put it aside to never think about it again. My impressions where kind of in the same vain as Yooka Laylee where it's a superficial adaptation with no artistry elevating the foundation.
But then, the Game Grumps played it and looked kind of fun. So fuck it, I don't have a social life. Let's play this tribute to pure garbage.
If you want a quick review, I'd say Arzette is better than the premise suggest but doesn't reach to grand heights because of its premise.
Because the thing about the CDI Zeldas is that they aren't considered the worst games ever by a technicality. From down almost to the concept, the game is atrociously made. The places you can walk on blend in with the background leading to blind guessing on where to jump. The combat is relentlessly unfair with no i-frames leading to situations where a single enemy can drain your entire health bar by just hovering over you. It's a game who's badness can't properly be described since the CDI controller and bad programming make the tantric feel of the game match the look and sound of the game. If the game forced you to eat an old egg sandwich, it could have touted itself as the kind of bad that affects all five senses.
So while Arzette doesn't have to do much to be better than literal garbage, but the CDI Zeldas don't leave a worthwhile foundation. There is only so much mileage you can get out of memes.
If Arzette the art style and gameplay wasn't shackled the the premise, I think the game would have been better for it. It's still a good game in spite of that, but emphasis on the "in spite."
The key strength of Arzette is the writing. I was pleasantly surprised how much effort they put into the writing. I was expecting purposeful self-sabotaging dialogue and devil may care characters. And granted, there is a bit of that in this game. However, there is an expert level of restraint, and I love how much actual care was put into the story. Arzette is a likable character. I like the arc her character takes. It's all solidly done.
There are some wonderful jokes and endearing dialogue. One joke in particular is so great, I want to petition the Game Awards to have a category for Best Humorous Bit and then award Arzette for the category. If you have played the game, you know exactly what bit I'm talking about.
Anyway, a mild recommendation for Arzette. And if they are going to faithfully follow the path of replicating Zelda's trajectory through the 90s, I hope the next game is Arzette: Pan Flute of Space. Food for thought.
Pokemon Stadium
The N64 is one of my most revisited consoles. If I made a Top 10 list of my most replayed games, I imagine a good chunk of that list would be from the N64.
I suppose Pokemon Stadium is one of those games, but that's not because it's a great game. Actually, the game is a mess with good 64 bit polygons.
For those that don't know, Pokemon Stadium ports the battle system from Pokemon Red and Blue into 3D. The problem is that Red and Blue may be one of the worst games ever. In fact, when it comes to the first games of every classic Nintendo property, Red and Blue may hold up the worst. The common description is being held by duct tape but it's more held together by goopy onion strings. There are so many glitches and bad design choices. Let's list some now:
1. Critical Hits are tied to speed meaning tanky Pokemon are virtually worthless since speedy pokemon can still do significant damage.
2. Opponents have infinite PP so pray they don't have degenerate moves like Double Team, Recover, etc.
3. Fire Spin, Wrap, and similar moves on a faster Pokemon is essentially a OHKO move by chip damaging the opponent and keeping them from attacking.
4. If you freeze a Pokemon, that also might as well be a OHKO move since you can't break out of it unless you get hit with a fire attack.
5. Two words, Psychic type.
So naturally, Pokemon Stadium is a janky ass game. On top of that, the game's selling point is transferring your Red and Blue file onto Pokemon Stadium. And if you didn't have that, you would be forced to use Rental Pokemon which had some of the worst move sets imaginable.
So why the hell do I keep playing it?
Well for starters, my most recent playthrough was started thanks to two rom hacks. One is a quality of life mod called Enhanced Rentals which gives Rental Pokemon viable movesets. The other is Pokemon Stadium Kaizo which does the same thing but also makes opponent Pokemon more difficult. Add on some self-imposed challenges like Nuzlocke rules, and you have a very satisfying yet intimidating Pokemon playthrough.
It doesn't fix the Gen 1 issues. In fact, in the case of Pokemon Stadium Kaizo, they seem to lean on the bullshit with a lot of Gen 1 bullshit. But it is a Kaizo hack which is par for the course in that genre.
I recall years back when I replayed Gales of Darkness with Action Replay codes and it turned a pretty alright game into one of the best RPGs I ever played. I feel a similar way to how the rom hacks affect Pokemon Stadium albiet to a lesser extent. The rom hacks mitigates the greatest issues with Pokemon Stadium allowing me to focus on what I like which is the fucking game feel!
No Pokemon game feels as satisfying as Pokemon Stadium. The sound design is incredible, and it makes every hit feel great. This game moves pretty slow, but I am okay with that due to how well it relishes in each attack.
That's really it though. I wouldn't recommend it unless you are starving for Pokemon gameplay. It falls in the same camp as DK64. I love it, and there is stuff to love, but I wouldn't recommend it to entertain cancer patients.
Pizza Tower (Noise Update)
So let's transition to an actual good game and talk about Pizza Tower.
Pizza Tower was my GOTY of last year and sits snuggly in my Top 10 of Favorite Games of All Time. And while I can't unfortunately add Pizza Tower again in my eventual 2024 list, I can still gush about this awesome game literally anywhere else.
This year, Pizza Tower released their first substantial update in the form of a new playable character. And you might be asking, so what? And yeah, it isn't the craziest update. It's the equivalent of playing as Luigi in Mario Galaxy. It's the same character with some tweaks to their moves and physics.
However, the update reinforces just how damn well designed Pizza Tower is.
Pizza Tower is a very precise game. Peppino, the main playable character, is scientifically design to respond to your every input and the levels are designed around that move set. You would think changing one tiny detail to him would drastically affect the gameplay in a negative way.
Instead, the Noise, the new playable character, shows that even drastic changes can still make the levels in Pizza Tower fresh and interesting.
With the Noise, you have a more slippery play style that at first seem like a more challenging version of the game. The Noise can't run up walls which is a core mechanic in most Pizza Tower levels. His ground pound is a bit more clunky. And in boss fights, his attack is more complicated to handle.
In some ways, it makes levels more difficult, but it's actually more balanced than I expected. Sure, Noise can't wall run, but he super jump without having to gain speed. He has his clunky aspects, but I found him a lot smoother to use when it came to turns and gaining speed.
Now all of this sounds like jargon. It goes to show how much I played this game when I got all the highest ranks on both characters. It highlights that the Noise is still fun in the same way as Peppino. Despite the changes, the character is still fun to play at the highest level. Usually games with time trials or challenges ask for perfection when the game isn't perfect itself. Pizza Tower was able to perfect the controls of two characters, so I am more than happy to let the game push me to my fullest potential.
Still, some more levels wouldn't be remiss. Or hey, make Pizza Tower 64. Better yet, make it open world and do a Bethesda RPG. Honestly, whatever this team puts out next is going to one of my most anticipated games. Silksong won't even come close. If I can write 400 words for just a single character, imagine what a whole ass game review would look like?
So go play Pizza Tower. If you like indie games and what they exemplify, Pizza Tower is a must have.
Also, I feel really bad for Anton Blast coming out in November. It's one thing to release a game in one of the most competitive months of the year. But to follow what is a lightning in a bottle homage of Wario Land with your own, it's suicide.
Kaze and the Wild Masks
There are a plethora of 2D platformers on Steam. But like wines for an occasion, there may be specific platformers you have in mind. Maybe you just want to turn your brain off, so you put on a Kirby or a modern Mario title. Maybe you want some challenge, so you put on Celeste.
I was feeling more of a Goldilocks mixture of the two. One that puts up a fight but is chill to play in a quiet Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately, the only ones I can think of is Donkey Kong Country. However, I played that one so many times that I wanted something fresh. Thankfully, I had this game in the library just in case I needed a Donkey Kong Country fix but with a different coat of paint.
Kaze and the Wild Masks, as the introduction suggests, homages the original Donkey Kong Country trilogy in practically every way. You got four KAZE letters. Secrets that go towards a 100%. You have tight controls as you jump on enemies to platform across the level. And in true Donkey Kong Country fashion, the difficulty sways between "hey, this is a nice chill game" to "FUCK! WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING GRAB THE FUCKING ROPE, YOU FUCKING FUCK!"
Now, Kaze does a bit to streamline the formula, but I will save those points for the next section of the this blog (foreshadowing).
What I will say is that one thing it doesn't mirror Donkey Kong on is that getting 100% isn't that fun. I remember my thoughts on Tropical Freeze and how the game improved upon shooting for 100%. Kaze doesn't have that engagement. For one, getting 100% feels like a minimum. The game is rather short. I completed Kaze in just under nine hours. That might seem like enough since that's significantly longer than the average length of the original DKC. But compared to DKCR, which is closer to twenty, and Kaze looks comparatively thin. Kaze is also not as replayable as any of the DKC games. The original DKC still retains its difficulty. And other than a few levels, Kaze doesn't have quite that bite. And when it tries to be difficult, it feels more like cheap gimmicks such as invisible platforms or bullet hell like autoscrollers. Overall, the difficulty feels closer to Yoshi's Island than DKC. Basically, if I didn't finish this at 100%, I would have beaten the final boss within a couple of hours.
To be fair, the game is an independent project, and the price reflects that with me paying only around $5 for the game. However, you could also get Celeste for $5 when it's on sale. You can something as robust as the entirety of Shovel Knight's content for as low as ten dollars. Honestly, unless you are starving for new platformers, this is not really worth your time. And even if you are starving, Kaze can only fill you up so much before you're hungry again. I know because once I finished Kaze, I was still hungry for more 2D platforming-
Marvel's Spiderman 2 Donkey Kong Country 2
-So instead of playing Spiderman 2, which was the initial plan for this blog, I replayed both Donkey Kong Country 1&2. This review will mostly be centered around Donkey Kong Country 2.
Now, DKC2 is considered among the community as the greatest entry in the DK franchise, but I never aligned with that sentiment. I always preferred the first entry or the Retro Studio ones. I never understood why people loved this one.
But after Kaze, and remembering how 100% Tropical Freeze made that game better, I wanted to see if that applied to DKC2. And you know what, I gotta say it did get slightly better.
Similar to Tropical Freeze, going for 100% makes you take levels slowly. You are more inclined to collect bananas which will give you more lives. I was able to enjoy the atmosphere this time around. I always resented that DKC pivoted away from the rustic style after the first game, but there is a lot to like with DKC2 aesthetics. It feels more like an Disney ride, rich with detail and whimsy. It trades the rustic feel for something closer to an adventure that's more magical.
When reading on why people love this game more, they cite two things. First, the secrets are better which kind of goes without saying. If there is one thing going against DKC1 nowadays is that completing that game without a guide is ridiculous. Cranky ain't a better gamer. He just had more time on this Earth combing through every wall and bottomless pit for secrets. DKC2 telegraphs its secrets a lot better. Very few have made me wonder how the hell was I suppose to find them. Add a few save states to make revisiting levels less tedious, and you have a solid batch of secret hunting.
The other point is that Diddy and Dixie are better to play than the DK/Diddy duo which I am less sold on. I agree that Dixie is more useful than DK who's only use is bouncing on heavier enemies. However, Dixie and Diddy's physics control differently that it is really annoying to adjust to. Regardless if you play as Diddy or DK, you still retain the same level of control albeit with different speeds. With DKC2, it feels I have to choose between smoother controls or the ability to hover. I feel this was an attempt to make both characters viable. However, I think it was more important to make control feel smooth all the time. It makes sense why in DKC Returns, they dropped this in favor of just having Diddy ride DK's back. This is also Kaze's first point in streamlining by essentially fusing Diddy and Dixie together. And so, the level design doesn't have to cater to two different characters.
And personally, it's also nice Kaze's save system isn't the fucking bullshit in DKC2. Bitch, I don't want to worry about spending money in a game where I jump on beavers. Take your capitalist dystopia elsewhere.
So that's this year's random games ramble with three games I already played before and two that are copying someone else's homework. Overall, a pretty creatively barren entry, but what can you do?
But I fulfilled my yearly obligation and put this entry to rest. Now I rest. Me go sleepy now.
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